


Crumble

by Eradicateddream



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Death, Flashbacks, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 20:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6922102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eradicateddream/pseuds/Eradicateddream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Finally decided to post my first ever work from way back to this site (._.)<br/>Well sit back and enjoy the ride.</p><p>Disclaimer: I own nothing from this fandom except my idea for this fiction.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Crumble

**Author's Note:**

> Finally decided to post my first ever work from way back to this site (._.)  
> Well sit back and enjoy the ride.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing from this fandom except my idea for this fiction.

Shattered, broken, hopeless, and yet the sight before me takes my breath away. He looks so wonderful, vibrant, and blissful. That breath taking pair of grey eyes shine and sparkled, full of love and affection as he tried his best to hold his tears and stared at the person who is walking down the aisle, the person who he will be spending his whole life with.

And all I can do is look at him from a distance.

Pathetic as a lot of people will say so, but what can I do? I cannot forget him. His familiar smirk, his occasional second long grin, his rare smile, his loving gaze which he is casting at the love of his life. My mind is constantly filled with nothing but him. The person I longed for but I know will never be mine.

I cannot bring myself to ruin the most important day of his life.

I sit at my place and look straight at the raven haired male as he said his vow and slip the ring into the ring finger of his soon to be bride.

I recall the memory when the raven haired male officially announced that he was going to get married. At that exact moment, my heart stopped. I held my breath as I tried to process what I just heard. There it is, my worst nightmare have finally come true. I froze as if there is a lump of food stuck at my throat as I tried my best to talk.

"I…I..." I stopped. "I'm happy for you Heichou. You two will make a great couple." I smiled my usual smile as I congratulate him.

"Thanks brat." He replied with a rare small smile.

And that smile was all that it took to break my last hold. I casually walked out of the room and closed the door. Drowning the sound of cheers and congratulations from the other squad members. I leaned at the door and took a deep breath. I hold it for as long as I could and then exhaled at an excruciating slow pace. It was the first time in my life that I thought that I was going to die. Killing a titian is million times way easier then hearing and accepting the truth that I had been avoiding for a long time.

The cruel truth, knowing that you would never get the chance to be with the one you love. I hold back a sob that was threatening to break out as I walked back to my room.

A sudden yet gentle shake from Mikasa brought me back to reality.

"Are you alright?" She asked with a worried look. "You don't look so well." She continued.

"Yeah I'm fine. Stop worrying." I replied with a small smile.

She knows, she knows my secret. It is not surprising though because for her, I am an open book. I never managed to hide anything from her, she know me too well.  
She give me a sad smile and take my hand into her own and give my hand an encouraging squeeze. I cast her a gratitude smile and shift my gaze back to the altar.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

At the reception, everyone is constantly eating, drinking, chatting or dancing. It is a sweet little wedding ceremony followed by a small reception where Levi decided to only invite close friends to attend it.

I take a glass of wine from the food table and bring it to one of the tables and sit on an empty sit. I swirl the glass before taking a sip. As I am about to take another sip, the empty seat beside me is occupied by non-other, horseface.

"Hey there." He greets me before he takes a sip from his glass.

"Hey." A short reply slipped out of my mouth.

"How are you?" He asked after taking another sip.

I give out a small short laugh. "Never been better I guess." I paused for a moment before continuing. "And you?"

"Same old same old. It's just that after all this titian business, I have more free time. I guess I’m just haven’t get used to it yet."

"We haven't eradicated them all yet you know."

"Eren, for goodness sake! All of us talked about this before and we all decided that you are innocent. So stop blaming yourself all the time, God!" He replied, clearly annoyed.

I was dumbfounded. Never for once that have I expected that Jean, the one that have been nothing but a pain in the ass, or in another word, annoyance to me is saying these words.

I am grateful, for real.

"Thanks man. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

After exchanging a few words, Jean is dragged by Hanji to the dance floor. I watched them and managed to laugh at Jean's poor attempt to break loose from Hanji's hold. And then, something caught my attention. My eyes landed on the bride and groom who is doing the couple dance. They both look so content and the look of happiness is painfully obvious on Levi's face. I subconsciously take a sip of wine from my glass and let the wine slide down my throat and feel as my throat is burning. It just helps to amplify the heartache. I picked up my glass of wine and walk out to the garden outside the reception hall. I sit at one of the stone benches and lowered my body as I lean against the bench.

I look up to the night sky and closed my eyes. While I was doing this, I feel hot liquid begin to fall from my eyes and I realize the fact that I am crying. Finally the tears I have been holding is flowing freely as I cry in silence. It's okay. Levi is married. It is not like as if the apocalypse is coming. Life goes on, there is still tons of work to do and…maybe someday I can find the chance to fall in love again?

Not likely.

Who will love me? I am half human, half titan. A monster, a creature that should not have existed. I highly doubt it.

I walked back to the reception after I recollect myself and making sure that my eyes are no longer red. I once again put back my smile and told myself that I am going to enjoy the rest of the night.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

The next morning, I wake up early and found out that I am alone on my bed. The dream that I had last night was so real that I really hope that I would never have to wake up from it but in the end, I cannot run from reality.

I light a candle as the sun is not yet up and descend the staircase leading down to the basement of my house. Yes, I bought my own house and both Mikasa and Armin also do the same.

After reaching the basement, I begin the necessary procedure.

I must do this. It is not only for me but it is for the future and for the sake of mankind.  
I summoned up all my courage and consume the liquid which I secretly took from Hanji's laboratory. It is time to bring the end to all of this. I silently thank all my friends and for all their help and support as I empty the bottle. And darkness starts to fill my vision as my eyes slowly close and my body been entirely cocooned. And the one that I only can think of is...

Beautiful, cold, distant, unapproachable, the love of my life, Levi Ackerman.


End file.
